LDS Young Single Adults

A different project

2010-11-26T05:46:00.000-08:00

Well, I got married three months ago. As I don't qualify to write the LDS Young Single Adults blog anymore, if anyone out there does, contact me and I'll turn it over to you if you want to work on this project. I've got to find a new one to work on. The site will be left up for a while and I'll take e-mails, so let me know if you're interested.

Best,
Tom

Facebook Page

2010-04-23T13:18:00.000-07:00

I made a Facebook page for the blog, and it's not much yet, but we can make it into something. Go click 'Like' while you're there, or 'Become a fan', or something.

We had a guest writer last time, and I think it was a success, so please submit more of your thoughts.

Happy week to all of you, oh, and if you know of any other sites about YSAs, send me the links.

One Step At A Time

2010-03-19T09:42:00.000-07:00

This post is a guest post from Abinadi Ayerdis:

I have spent the last few months studying the Bible, and I think I've come across a pattern that might be helpful. It begins with Jesus Christ. He grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men, so he was clearly very close with our Heavenly Father. That closeness is a great thing. It is something that we all try (or should try) to emulate.

However, when Christ suffered and died for our sins, he was alone. The Father had to withdraw himself so that the weight of the atonement would rest squarely on Christ's shoulders. The thought of the Father leaving Christ alone is hard to think about, particularly when we read of Christ's cry to the father, "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" (Matt. 27:46)

The Savior prepared his entire life for that supreme act of love. And when it came time for him to take that ultimate test, he had to do it alone. Therein lies the pattern for us. We are prepared in some way. The Spirit teaches us a principle. Then we are tested. And in that test, the Father must withdraw so that we either pass or fail on our own. We either learned the lesson or not. The absence of the Spirit is brief, because our connection with the Father is almost constant if we are worthy. But when it comes time to take the tests of life, we must freely and willingly and without the direct influence of a third party, choose the right.

God is a god of love and compassion. He lets us fail and retake the test as many times as we can. He teaches us through his Spirit. The fruits of the spirit are clear: they always uplift. Feelings of darkness, doubt, and fear are never from Heavenly Father. Once his spirit has spoken to us, we apply the principle, and then we can learn the next lesson. And so we progress forward through life: through priesthood offices, callings, and eventually marriage and family. One step at a time.

We welcome guest posts, so feel free to send me an e-mail at tomwright@moonlightcrew.com. Also, tell us how you feel in the comments.

It's been a while...

2010-01-08T09:34:00.002-08:00

Wow, I've been traveling a bit in the Holy Land, and I've had spotty internet connection, so it's been a while.

Well, I have to ask you to forgive me for further hiatus, as the blog is being suspended for a bit. I'll be back shortly!

Keep on submitting ideas and articles!

A little clarification

2009-12-18T12:19:00.000-08:00

I enjoyed the comments on the previous post, and thought I'd continue the subject.

It is imperative to avoid strife, right? And contention, too. But so often after a breakup that's all that happens, and it seemingly has to involve a lot more people than the two who were dating.

What's that all about? I mean, really? Why do people try to get others to take sides, point fingers, backbite and gossip?

I feel that there is a solution to this immaturity, and it can be summed up in two words: Stay classy.

Stay classy all the time. Do what you gotta do. I said to remain friends in the previous post, and Stephanie brought up some very good points, some that will need whole blog posts in the future. So I say, remain friendly after a breakup. Obviously you won't be spending time together or calling each other up like you used to, but don't be hateful or mean or petty. Sometimes things don't work out, and that's ok. What's not ok is going against several of the Lord's specific commandments, namely gossiping, being hateful, being contentious, etc.

Stay classy.

Tell me what you think in the comments. What do you do when you're hurt, and it'd be easy to hate?

Some technical advice

2009-12-11T10:30:00.000-08:00

Be friends after a breakup.

If you need space, you need space. If you need a lot of space, you need a lot of space. Do what is healthy for you, and for the other person. But don't become enemies after a breakup. I mean, you two used to like each other, right? There's something there worth being friends for.

If you cannot be friendly or need a permanent break, then by all means, be healthy and do what's best. But don't be enemies.

Why this technical advice? Because no one likes the fallout of a bad breakup. This includes everyone around you. No one wants to hear for the umpteenth time the list of bad qualities that made you break the relationship off. No one wants to hear how you've been done wrong, over and over again. It's not a war to turn people against each other. It's just a relationship that didn't work out, and now you both know better what you want in another person, and now you can go find that in someone else.

A friend of mine used to talk to anyone who would listen about how terrible her ex was, and how he was still being terrible. When she stopped talking about it, her life improved vastly, in most respects. She was still lonely and hurt, but her friendships were strengthened, as was her self-esteem, and she was able to heal as she needed.

Be friends.

Tell me what you think in the comments section. Do you agree? Disagree? What can you do to maintain a friendship with an ex?

A Call For Guest Writers

2009-12-04T13:27:00.000-08:00

My dear friend Stephanie wrote to me:

"I tried to read your 'LDS singles' blog and I'm confused... Is there one, or three, or is it all a tricky mind game? If there are multiples, why sir, why? You may say keep it separate for content, I say no, merge and categorize. Cheers!"

Thanks for the suggestion. We here at LDS Young Single Adults have taken it into full consideration and duly rejected it.

I thought that'd be a good way to start a post about asking for guest columnists.

Anyway, this is a call for new writers. Let's make this a community, and get different points of view on here. Write in about a certain challenge you faced and overcame, or an aspect of single LDS life that needs touching on. I'll take your submissions at tomwright@moonlightcrew.com.

Also, I'd love submissions to the date sites: Awesome Dates and Awful Dates.

Can't wait to hear from you!

A Date List

2009-11-27T07:25:00.000-08:00

In my research poll, to the right, a lot of people have responded about their challenges: lack of time, members with different standards, etc. Someone please write in a guest article on something like this, because I'm on a dating kick.

Here's a list of dates that I started last post. Not a comprehensive list, but a nice one:

1) The Book Store Date
Already mentioned in the previous post, this date is clutch. Find out the interests of your date, and in a great environment, too. Read more about it from the original Book Store Dater here.

2) The Park Date
The Park Date is great because there's so much to do, and it's multi-seasonal. If there's a lake or pond nearby, you can feed the fish and ducks, and there's usually squirrels to feed. In the summer, you can throw a frisbee, in the winter, you can make snowmen. If you just want to go for a walk, it's perfect, and if you want to eat, set up a picnic.

3) The Classic
Go out to dinner. If you have chemistry, you should know it. If you don't, at least there's food, right? Really though, you can get a lot out of this. Can you even keep up a conversation with this person for the length of a meal? If you want to be extra analytical, you can see how they treat the wait staff or check out their table manners, but the real value here is the conversation.

4) Cooking
Katie, the Brit downstairs, suggested this one, and it's been a hit for me before. Grab a recipe or two, fill up on some ingredients, and enjoy making a meal together (and the consumption thereof). The downside is that this is more of a "staying in" date than a "going out" date, but there are sometimes benefits to that too.

5) Star Gazing
Sarah, the Brit downstairs, suggested this one, and I've heard of this being a hit before. In fact, I think my old roommate asked his wife to marry him while they were star gazing, but I'm not sure. This sounds like it could be a fun date, so somebody write in and tell me if it is.

So, not a comprehensive list, but this should help out for at least a month, I'd say. Have fun!

Have another idea for a good date? Tell us in the comment section.

The Three Ps

2009-11-20T10:59:00.000-08:00

After being out of town, and then in the hospital for several days for surgery, I'm back! To celebrate, I'm launching two new blogs, Awesome Dates and Awful Dates. Be sure to e-mail submissions for both to tomwright@moonlightcrew.com.

Speaking of dates, isn't it about time we went on some more? I already wrote about confidence, and that's part of the first step: Asking someone out. This is so much easier than you may think. I mean, it's really easy. Elder Oaks talked about it in his famous "Dating vs. Hanging Out" talk, and he said to just pick up the phone and make the call. And it really is that easy. What makes us think it's hard sometimes is that we're afraid of rejection. Honestly, the worst thing that can happen is that the person we ask out will say "No", and so what if they do? (Actually, there's a lot of worse things that can happen, but the chances of someone moving away because you asked them out are pretty nil. They probably won't try to murder you in your sleep, either). There are a million fish in the sea.

I don't really know how it works for girls, so I'll just link to a site that is written by a single sister, but for guys, there it is.

Also outlined in Elder Oaks' talk, the three Ps of dating: Paired off, Paid for, and Planned.

Paired Off: Oh man, one of my friends went on a date, and in the middle of it the girl called up a friend to come chill with them. Ouch. Sounds like she needed a buffer, or like she didn't know it was a date. If she needed a buffer, then there's really nothing you can do about that, except be less creepy, I guess. But if she didn't know it was a date, then shame on you. I always use the word "date" when I ask a girl out on a date. There isn't any confusion that way. I've heard a lot of girls say they weren't sure if they were on a date the night before. That's when I'm like, "What?" How could they not know? I guess the guy says, "Hey, want to go to the football game?" and then it's just the two of them at the game, he's paid, and she's wondering if he thinks they're on a date or not.

Anyway, this whole pairing off paragraph has turned into a tangent, but it goes like this: A date is between a couple. That's what it's all about.

Paid For: Oh man, this is the one that starts the fights. I can hear them now: The guy should always pay! No, they should always split the check, unless they're boyfriend and girlfriend!

It's easy: Whoever asks, pays. I've been out with girls before that felt bad that they didn't help with the check. Pish-posh, I say. I knew what I was getting into when I asked you out to dinner. If I don't have a ton of cash, I'll keep that in mind when planning the date. That in mind, I knew a girl who asked out a bunch of guys, and then expected them to pay. If someone asks me out, I just feel like it's on them now. If I didn't ask you out, then I don't want to be financially responsible for you. Sound mean? She thought so. It just makes sense to me.

Planned: Ever been on a date where the asker picks you up and says, "So, what do you want to do?" LAME. Have something in mind. In fact, have two somethings. I asked a girl out once and she said yes. I then asked if she wanted to play Putt-Putt golf, and she said, "Uh, I think that's kind of a cop-out date". BAM. Yes, that just happened. Good thing I had thought of something else. I then asked if she wanted to go on a picnic and throw a frisbee in the park, and she said she'd love to. You don't have to think quickly if you've already thought it through. (Oh, and by the way, Putt-Putt golf is not a cop-out date, it's freakin' awesome and I love it).

Anyway, plan it out so you don't just end up awkwardly trying to figure out how you're going to spend the next few hours. Here's some ideas to get you started:

1) The Book Store Date- This can be done in so many ways. No matter how you try it, you're definitely going to get to know your date better. What do they like to read? Do they like to read at all? Such a fun date.
2) Now that I've started this list, I'm going to stop and save it for another blog post, since it'll probably be just as long as a regular post.

Get out there and date. That is all.

What do you think? Let me know in the comments section.

Back in a bit...

2009-11-03T23:24:00.000-08:00

I'm going to Siwa to safari in the desert for a bit, so I'll miss the regular Friday updates. I'll be back next Friday.

In the meantime, tell me in the comments section your reaction to the articles.

A Sound Body

2009-10-30T18:42:00.001-07:00

Jerry Seinfeld once remarked that if we followed the old Greek ideals of a sound mind in a sound body, we'd only ever go to the library or the gym. For us, I add a sound spirit with a sound mind in a sound body, and we should also go to Church. Lots of what challenges us today is intellectual and spiritual, but I focus on the physical as well because I feel that it lends itself to the intellectual and the spiritual.

Recently in the Cairo Branch I heard our senior missionary couple speak. The Elder said that he goes with his wife to the gym six times a week. Sound like overkill? He said, "It's hard to be spiritually fit when you're not physically fit." I don't know about you, but I really identify with that. Six gym sessions a week isn't necessary for all of us, but there's something we can be doing to exercise our bodies and invigorate our minds.

My friend served in Salt Lake City on his mission and ran into Elder Faust on the street. Elder Faust was on his morning walk.

We know that the Prophet Joseph wrestled, played baseball, and could lift anyone in a stick-wrestling match.

What does this have to do with being a Young Single Adult? Well, lots. Besides helping us face our spiritual and intellectual challenges, being physically fit is just plain attractive.

You look as good as you feel. And you when you feel good, you look good. It's cyclical.

For instance, after a workout you feel a sense of accomplishment. When you reach a workout goal, you have the confidence of knowing that you can do hard things. You walk differently, you interact differently. You're pumped. It's a good feeling, and it is attractive.

Many people feel jaded after a bit, especially when they read things like this and think that it's pretty shallow. Focusing on the physical aspect is pretty shallow if it's for the wrong reasons. But there are right reasons to focus on the physical. We need to follow the examples of the prophets and be healthy, as healthy as we can be. Heavenly Father has given us beautiful bodies and tells us that they are temples, and we need to take care of them. A nice side effect is that we are more attractive as we do this. The Gospel invigorates us and rejuvenates us. Let's use those blessings, and take care of our bodies.

What do you think? Tell us in the comments what you do to stay physically fit, and how it helps you face your challenges.

For a more secular reason to join the gym

Non-Members

2009-10-23T18:29:00.000-07:00

I received a letter from a friend who was frustrated about having feelings for a non-member. I wrote her this in response, edited for content:

"I totally hear you. Waiting around for that right person who happens to be a member of the Church, while there are so many awesome people that haven't found the gospel yet, is one of the hardest things in the world. Marrying the right person in the right place at the right time is the goal, but man, Heavenly Father sure didn't make it easy, did He? I guess if He had, it wouldn't be worth it, but that's not a lot of consolation right now. Only after the trial of our faith comes the blessing, right? But can't we be blessed with other blessings in the middle of the trial, like patience or something?

Of course these are the rants of a frustrated person, because Heavenly Father does bless us continually, especially with things for which we don't even know to ask. I just listened to Elder Whitney's most recent conference address and it's called That Your Burdens May Be Light. He mentioned how the Lord eased the burdens of the Nephites in captivity, and how He told them, "that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions."

I guess sometimes we don't feel it though, because of all the pain and desire that we focus on when times are like these. It's just hard. It just is.

But, it's nice to know that God is still lifting us up, even when we feel lower than ever. I suppose it's more of an intellectual knowledge that we're being lifted than a feeling, since we certainly don't feel it. But He's there, and He'll make it happen for us, one way or another. We just got to keep on keepin' on."

That's the letter that I wrote to her. I heard quoted in an Institute class that one in seven people convert to the Gospel of Christ after they marry a member of the Church. You'd have a better shot at rolling a die and guessing which number it would land on than you would marrying a non-member and having them convert. That's the scariest thing in the world. However, I've known many people that have dated non-members and then married those people in the Temple after their baptisms.

It goes to show that as with most things, the rule is to follow the Spirit. Marrying the right person at the right time in the right place is Heavenly Father's will for us. We just have to find out the specifics of His will for each of us.

What do you think? Leave a comment below about what teachings of the Church support your opinion.

Stress less...

2009-10-16T12:16:00.000-07:00

...about the Lord's time.

A married friend of mine asked a group of us YSAs how we were doing in terms of dating. We all live in Egypt, two of us in Alexandria, and the rest in Cairo, and all of our dating is pretty limited by the culture and lack of members around here. He told us not to worry but to definitely put ourselves in the right circumstances to date and marry.

He married at the age of twenty-six, and said that, "It just happened." A pep talk later about stressing less, we were on our way.

That's easy for him to say, right? I mean, he's married. Of course "it just happened" and he doesn't need to stress about it.

But he's right, isn't he? We have our free agency, and the Lord has blessed us with a measure of control over our lives. We can make choices regarding whom we date and with whom we associate, and personal decisions in our lives that lead to righteousness and worthiness of the Lord's blessings.

But ultimately it is the Lord who blesses us in His time and in His way. To qualify for the Lord's blessings in whatever form, we need to obey His counsels and do His will. That involves dating and preparing ourselves for the unity of a celestial marriage.

That also involves a measure of stress and worry. What about the faithful member who "ages out" of the Singles Ward, despite doing their very best to be righteous and find a righteous person to marry? What about the person who is worried that their physical appearance is holding them back, and that there are things that they just can't change about themselves? Worry is natural when the blessings aren't immediate. The Prophet Joseph asked Heavenly Father three times in the Doctrine and Covenants, "How long?" when wanting a blessing immediately. I have found myself asking a similar question regarding marriage from time to time, when a promising relationship hasn't worked out or I felt that I had done what was necessary to qualify for this particular blessing.

We can content ourselves with knowing that the Lord has prepared a way for all to receive the blessing of celestial marriage, whether in this life or the next. That's a wonderful blessing.

But we can also content ourselves by relying on the Lord's timetable. Having the humility to trust the Lord's timing isn't easy. Sister Kristen Oaks spoke with Elder Oaks in my mission and related to us that she married in her mid-fifties. Those kinds of stories scare me to death. I might have to wait twenty-five more years? Like I said, it's not always easy to trust in the Lord's timetable. But having the humility to do so will open us up for blessings. Maybe blessings that we don't even know to ask for.

And maybe a specific blessing for which we've been waiting.

What do you think? Drop a comment to let us know how we can de-stress and trust in the Lord.

A Peculiar People

2009-10-09T14:31:00.000-07:00

What is it about being different that bothers us so much?

Parents spend money on clothes for kids so they'll fit in. Teenagers change their entire personalities to be accepted. People try so hard to be one of the crowd.

Why can't we just be different?

As Latter-day Saints, we already are a peculiar people. Our standards are not the only thing that set us apart from the world, but our entire culture. We have a language that is difficult to understand to those not familiar with our faith. I chuckle everytime I think of the man who tried to explain that we perform ordinances in the Temple to a group of Air Force officers. They understood the word "ordnance" to mean explosives. There's the ever told story of the confused non-member wondering why we have a "steak" center.

We're different from the world, but we're also different from each other. And that's ok. So often we want to mold people into the "perfect person". We can't believe that Heavenly Father created all of us as different as can be, only to all turn into clones of each other when we're perfected after this life. Is there only one type of "perfect person"?

Joseph and Brigham were entirely different people. President Hinckley and President Monson are entirely different people. Were any less beloved by their people, or less valued by Heavenly Father for their differences? Can we truly believe that the differences between Joseph, the Prophet of the Restoration, and Brigham, the Lion of the Lord, won't be enhanced in the life to come?

In the words of Jonathan Haidt, "Each of us thinks we see the world directly, as it really is. We further believe that the facts as we see them are there for all to see, therefore others should agree with us. If they don't agree, it follows either that they have not yet been exposed to the relevant facts or else that they are blinded by their interests and ideologies. It just seems plain as day, to the naïve realist, that everyone is influenced by ideology and self-interest. Except for me. I see things as they are" ( Happiness Hypothesis, 2006, p. 71). I guess everyone should think exactly the same way that I do, shouldn't they? Because, of course, I'm always right, right?

Being different is a good thing, inasmuch as we practice righteousness continually. If we were all doctors, there wouldn't be anyone to fix cars. If we were all mechanics, there wouldn't be anyone to treat diseases. While being obedient to God's commands, we can still strike out on our own path.

What does this have to do with the Latter-day Saint Young Single Adult? Well, a lot, really.

Common ground is important in a relationship, especially one that very well could lead to marriage. We need to have similar interests in some aspects of our lives. But if one partner likes to play sports and the other likes to read science fiction, that's ok. We don't have to let any difference of passions come between us.

I know a man who restores antique Bibles. It's a fun hobby and a business opportunity for him. His wife is an avid Family History researcher, a hobby and a calling. These two passions are quite different, but this couple uses these differences to grow stronger together. On a trip to the East Coast of the United States, this brother looks for Bibles in antique shops while his wife searches the area for family history contacts concerning her ancestors. Often times older Bibles will have a family's geneology recorded in them. With their differences each partner can be excited for a trip together, enjoy their time, and help each other in their passions.

Just let people be different.

What do you think? Write a comment about how your differences have strengthened your relationships.

A post from the point of view of a "different" person

Why do girls like jerks?

2009-10-02T11:08:00.000-07:00

There's a well-known quote: Nice guys finish last.

It's not entirely true, but how many times have you seen a girl dating the biggest jerkface alive? Or how many of your girl friends are dating guys that are terrible for them?

Because jerks are confident. And confidence is so attractive. This goes for guys and girls. The stereotype portrayed in movies of the snobby girl always shows her dating a popular, attractive guy. Besides Hollywood trying to manipulate its audience, there's something to this. We like confident people.

But is where's the line between being confident and being a jerk? We want to be Christ-like, and we know that Christ had true charity for everybody. In the Book of Moroni we read of the attributes of charity, and we see that one with charity doesn't think evil of others, nor is easily offended, and isn't stuck-up. Sounds like the antithesis of a jerk.

Christ was also perfectly confident. He had perfect faith, and therefore did not doubt Himself. He had a mission and He knew that Heavenly Father supported Him. Christ was a confident man without resorting to being rude and manipulative.

So we know it can be done. But how do we get there?

In my point of view, to be confident you just have to be confident. That may sound like saying, "If you want to be good at basketball, be good at basketball", but it's not. To be good at basketball, you have to practice. Can you practice confidence? Maybe. But there is nothing like the real thing. To be confident, do confident things. Talk to the person that makes you nervous. Say yes when asked to do something that scares you. We're a Church of public speakers, the lay ministry, and we are asked to give talks sometimes in front of hundreds of people. To many people, this isn't an easy thing to do. But I've seen so many people say "Yes" when called, and the Lord blesses them. If we are confident in righteous pursuits, the Lord will bless our efforts. Take a look at the missionaries for example. They knock on a door to tell a random person that they need to change major aspects of their lives. That's scary and uncomfortable. But the Lord blesses their efforts, and their confidence is rewarded with blessings from Heavenly Father.

Knowledge of our worth to our Heavenly Father will help our confidence. We know that we are His children, and have divine potential. He has given us the means to become like Him. What could inspire more confidence than that? Righteous living will result in confidence. The confident person will be more attractive than the person that harbors self-doubt.

Developing confidence by doing challenging things is a challenging process. Besides not being easy, it takes time and dedication, as well as good self-esteem. To help with this development, apply the lesson from the last post and set goals. Do challenging things, things that you would otherwise feel uncomfortable doing. What are the practical applications of doing challenging, uncomfortable things?

The list includes learning, growing, and becoming a better person. Confident people have more friends and are more successful than unconfident people. This, of course, can be applied to Young Single Adults in more than a couple of areas. One of which is dating. Have the confidence to meet new people, to ask girls out, to accept dates. Have the confidence to step out of your comfort zone and try new things.

We could also look at it this way: Do you want to date someone who stares at their feet when they walk, or can't introduce themselves to new people? How about someone who can't take a compliment and always gets down on themselves? The answer is probably "No", and that's how most others feel too. So hold your head up high, look people in the eye, and shake their hand firmly. Just be confident, by doing confident things. It's attractive. It's also why nice guys finish last, if nice is equated to being a doormat. When you know you're awesome, other people know it too, and they can't treat you like a doormat. And everyone knows that doormats are not attractive.

What do you think? Leave a note in the comments about how to be more confident.

What do skydiving and the Temple have in common?

2009-09-25T11:52:00.000-07:00

A friend told me that in a YSA conference, President Uchtdorf said the same thing that Elder Bednar did about the list. He said, "Be the person you want to marry."

Well, besides a list of attributes, we can also improve ourselves with a list of life goals. An inspired Institute teacher of mine, Brother Randal Wright, taught this lesson to me time and time again. In class one day he told me to write down 100 goals, short and long-term. They needed to be the kind of goals that you can check off. "Read the Book of Mormon everyday" and "Say prayers everyday" our good goals for a different list, but the goals we want are goals that have an end, something we can accomplish. The goals also need to be realistic.

I went home and started my list. Following Brother Wright's council, I consulted my Patriarchal blessing. If you don't have your Patriarchal blessing, consider writing down as a goal, "Get my Patriarchal blessing". I also prayed and asked Heavenly Father what He wanted me to do in this life. I then thought of things I had always wanted to do and things that interested me.

I soon had a good-sized list and was on my way to 100 goals. The list included:

Marry in Temple
Serve a senior mission
Baptize and confirm all of my children
Re-read Standard Works

But it's also a medium for fun. Some of the things I wrote also included:

Sky dive
Learn to swing dance and throw and spin and etc.
Train travel Europe with my wife
Ride camel
Get scuba diving license

I'm still writing goals, since I only have 76, but I'll be writing goals even when I get to 100, because once you check one off, you put another on.

There's really something to it. I wrote the goals about the camel and scuba diving, and now I live in Egypt where both of those goals were crossed off. A friend of mine wrote, "Volunteer in Mexico, Central America, or South America" and now she's teaching English in Cancun. Write your goals down somewhere, somewhere where you'll see them often. I have a day on my calendar set every week to review my goals, to see how I'm doing to reach them. There are sites online like 43 things where you can enter goals, or you can write them in a notebook.

So let's get started! Please leave one or two of your goals that you wouldn't mind sharing in the comments section.

Elder Ballard, on Goals
Elder Staheli, on Your Potential

Basis for this Blog

2009-09-21T00:55:00.000-07:00

Elder Bednar came to a stake nearby and held a question and answer fireside with his wife. Several insightful questions were asked, and then I got my hands on the microphone being passed around. I stood and asked, "What advice do you have for Young Single Adults to help them get married, besides dating?"

Now, Elder Bednar has been around his fair share of YSAs, what with being the President of BYU Idaho and such. He didn't miss a beat as he said, "Don't make a list of things you want to find in someone else. If you listed smart, spiritual, funny, attractive, and successful, and then you found that person, what would they want to do with you?"

After the laughter died down, he said, "Make that list for yourself. Work on it and become those things, and then that kind of person will be attracted to you."

His wife then answered, "I know you said 'besides dating', but just date. Just go on dates."

So under the inspiration received from the mouth of the Lord's servants, the basis of this blog will be on developing one's self and dating.

Please e-mail me at tomwright@moonlightcrew.com to suggest any topics for upcoming articles.

The Beginning of Something Great

2009-09-20T12:20:00.001-07:00

Guys, I'm not going to lie: I have ulterior motives for writing this blog.

It goes like this: I want to write a book on the challenges facing Young Single Adults of the Latter-day Saint community. To do so, I need YSAs to fill out a survey for me, so I can find out the diverse challenges facing all of us, not just me.

So, to attract a greater number of people (I have 275 survey responses, and I want at least 225 more) I am keeping this blog for LDS YSAs. I'll write about challenges facing us, and pretty much any topic that I think we can apply to our lives right now. Please e-mail me your suggestions for blog topics, I know we're a community, we don't have to go this alone.

Oh, and here's the link to the survey. If it fills up, send me an e-mail and I'll post an empty survey (SM will only let me have 100 responses per form).